Sir Robert's Round Table-London-November 20th- Knight of the Realm and passionate republican Sir Robert of Geldof has advised Bono to Phu%k right off! Sir Robert's patience snapped when he heard that Bono was hatching a plan to save Ireland. Sir Robert issued a statement through his lady in waiting this morning. " That phooking toad Bono is gettin' on my tits. Oim the one who invented saving countries not that little stetson wearing toad. Loike Oi did Loive Aid and just because he met George Bush he thinks he's me. If Oireland is to be saved Oi'll save it, if Oi feel like it. Bono my Arse!"
Mr Bono remains uncontactable and is rumoured to be having the world's first back transplant! U2 percussionist drummer Larry the Drummer of U2 said "I wish Bono would shut the ph%ck up and write more of his shyte songs".
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