Irish Insomnia Association give Joan Burton a lifetime achievement Award
Dublin Nov 26th- John "Pillows" Flanagan, President of the Irish Insomnia Association last night conferred the Association's first Lifetime Achievement Award to Labour Party Politician Joan Burton. Announcing the award Mr Flanagan said "Joan Burton's monotone drone has helped so many of our members get some much needed sleep. She has given so much hope to Insomnia sufferers, in fact some of our most chronic cases have achieved a deep sleep within thirty seconds of one of her monologues".
A spokesperson for the Labour party said " we are so aware of Joan's sleep inducing qualities we warn any members who have cause to drive her anywhere to be aware of the dangers, we suggest coffee, red bull and steroids for even short journeys in her company".
Miss Burton is said to be delighted to be the first politician to receive the "Golden Pillow".